RELIEVE YOUR LOVED ONES – There are over 50 questions to be answered and decisions to be made when making funeral arrangements. Who better to answer the questions and make the decisions than you? By pre-planning & providing this information ahead of time you are making your wishes known and ensuring that your loved ones won’t be burdened with these questions and decisions.

AVOID OVER SPENDING – At the time of death, families are grieving, emotions are high and this is not a good time for decision-making. Families tend to overspend thinking this is the last thing they can do for their loved one…this is not necessary. By selecting and pre-paying for funeral services & merchandise you are relieving your loved ones from emotional overspending.

GUARANTEE THE COST – Although the average funeral costs much less today than many people expect…costs continue to rise. Who knows if inflation will rise more rapidly in the future than in the past? Studies have shown that the average cost of a funeral doubles every 12-15 years. Pre-payment of the service and merchandise you select today “guarantees” the cost and assures you and your family that your funeral will be paid in full at the time of need. By pre-paying, you are not only “guaranteeing” the cost, you are also ensuring that your loved ones will not be burdened with this expense during a very emotional time.

QUALIFY FOR EXEMPTION FROM MEDICAID – No one plans on receiving Medicaid assistance, however, increasing cost of healthcare and assisted living along with the increased age of life expectancy can deplete your retirement savings. Pre-paid funeral services and merchandise are exempt in your total asset count that qualifies you for Medicaid. By pre-paying you are taking care of this responsibility with your own funds and removing these funds from being counted in your Medicaid eligibility.

SELECT THE SERVICES & MERCHANDISE YOU WANT – When you pre-plan, your funeral director will document the funeral service and merchandise you have selected. Then there is no doubt about your expressed wishes. Family disputes are eliminated and loved ones won’t need to ask; “Did we do the right thing?” “ Did we spend too much or too little?” “Is this what he/she would have wanted?” “Is all of the information we provided accurate?” Pre-planning puts you in control and eliminates the doubts and questions from those you love during an emotional time.

PERSONALIZE YOUR SERVICE – By pre-planning, you can make your funeral service so much more meaningful to those you love. If your family knows you selected the music, songs, scripture, readings, clothing, etc. you are personalizing your celebration of life for them.

PEACE OF MIND FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY – Of all the ways one can express love, planning and funding your funeral may be one of the most considerate and caring. It’s not always an easy thing to talk about, but who wouldn’t want to take the needed steps to ease the minds and comfort those they love in their time of loss.

IT’S INEVITABLE – Most of us prepare for the major events in our lives. We even prepare for the misfortunes or events in life that seldom happen. We purchase car insurance, home owners/renters insurance, healthcare insurance. We plan & save for our children’s education, wedding and our own retirement. Many people even purchase cemetery property. But what about our funeral service? Why not prepare for the inevitable?

PRESERVE LIFE INSURANCE AND FAMILY SAVINGS – Traditional insurance is intended to cover ongoing living expenses for the family and usually requires waiting weeks or even months until proceeds are available. These proceeds may also erode over time due to inflation. Life insurance is paid to the designated beneficiary and it is up to the beneficiary’s discretion as to what the insurance proceeds are used for. Savings accounts can be depleted by long illness or assisted living before death. By pre-paying for your funeral today you are ensuring that your life insurance will help your loved ones with ongoing expenses. And should your savings be depleted, you are not leaving your family the financial burden of your funeral.

FUNDING OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE – There are several different payment plan options available to fit your financial budget. Payments can be made monthly, quarterly, semi-annual or annually over a 3 to 10 year period. Should you decide to relocate, your plan is transferable to a funeral home in your new community.

Pre-Planning your funeral is one of the most loving things you can do for your family. For more informtion and to speak with someone personally please contact:

Lori Taylor
Funeral Director/Pre-Need
Andrews Mortuary
Ph 791-7055

IF TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME

If tomorrow starts without me,
And I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn’t get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I’d have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I’d always thought,
I didn’t want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I’d say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss some tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven’s gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,

He said, “This is eternity,
And all I’ve promised you.”
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day is the same way,
There’s no longing for the past.

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here, in your heart”

When someone you care about is grieving, it can be a challenge to find the right words to say in a note, or when you see them. Here are some ideas about what to say. Please remember though, that it’s about them, not you. Truly listening and responding with empathy is more important than any sympathetic statement or gesture you can think up beforehand.

•’You are in my thoughts’… Let them know that you appreciate the significance of their loss, and that you are concerned about them. If you have included them in your prayers, let them know that too.

•’I remember’… Share a special memory of the deceased. There is no greater gift than learning something new and wonderful about a person we’ve lost. Reminding a grieving person of an old favorite story can be wonderful gift as well.

•’I will miss’… Even though your focus should be on the grieving person, and not on yourself, let them know that you too will miss this special person, and that you share in their loss.

•’I would like to’….It’s certainly nice to say “We’re here for you, let us know if we can help with anything”, but take it one step further by offering help with something specific. ‘We’d like to bring over meals for you on Wednesdays’ or ‘we’d like to take care of your snow shovelling this year’ or ‘I can take you to the grocery store’. You don’t have to insist, but being specific about what you could help with makes it easier for them to take you up on your offer.

•’We love you’…This is what is most important, and it encompasses all the previous ideas. When we lose someone, we need to know that we are loved and cared for. If you can communicate this by your presence, thoughfulness, words or actions, you have made a difference.

“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice”

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

As we like to remember those we have loved at their best…………..
Thanks to Bob Dylan for putting it so eloquently
For a beautiful version of this song visit here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQksqVL8zSw

The Death of a Spouse
Written By : David Beart

One of the most difficult moments in a person’s life is the death of a spouse. Whether the marriage was wonderful, rocky, young or old, losing something so significant can feel so painful that the simple act of breathing hurts, and there doesn’t seem to be an end to that type of hurting in sight. There is so much that happens in those first few days, plans to be made, friends and family that are always there, trying to offer comfort, sometimes trying too hard to offer comfort, and that feeling as though you have to offer others a sense of peace. Being a surviving spouse also means being a host or hostess for a short time, no matter how hard others try to tend to your needs first.

When the funeral or memorial service has ended, and you are finally alone with the reality of things, you may expect to have certain feelings. And those certain feelings may or may not ever come. Despite the fact that there has been tons of research written on the steps of grieving, the truth is that these are just vague outlines, not guarantees. There is no script, no determined function that says you must feel any certain way for any length of time. Your feelings are your own and they are what they are.

There is a significant difference however, between not experiencing an emotion because it just isn’t there and shutting down an emotion because it doesn’t feel “appropriate” or you don’t want to feel it. During the weeks following a spouse’s death, there are still details to take care of, and strong emotions can hinder your ability to deal with those details.

Some people find that if they actually set aside “grieving time” once a day, a few hours in the morning or the evening, where they are able to express their emotions in ways that are pure and real and honest, they are able to move through the details of life without feeling numb or uninvolved. Writing in a journal, phoning a few friends, crying, listening to music that holds special memories, building with wood, painting, or even seeing a therapist are all methods of dealing with strong emotions that help to express the hollowness, the pain, and the frustration and anger.

Spouses who have lost their significant other to a long term illness such as cancer are often mortified that their grieving doesn’t last as “long as it should.” This is a common phenomenon with no shame attached. In reality, couples who have faced long term illnesses have done a lot of anticipatory grieving, grieving the death of their loved while the loved one was still here. Many spouses reach a form of acceptance before their beloved passes on. In some cases, when the illness had stolen so much of who the individual was, and left them in a condition that death seemed like the better choice, the grieving was already completed on many levels, and the remaining spouse is left with relief, and a sense of guilt for feeling relieved. There is no guilt necessary. There are some things that are worse than death. There is a state of human condition that begs for death, release. Your grieving, at least a good part of it, has already been done. And it is okay, however you feel.

Depression is a normal part of grieving such a loss, even if the marriage was heading toward divorce or had even reached the point of separation. It didn’t need to be a perfect marriage for you to have the freedom to grieve. Despite the normalcy of depression, any strong feelings of incapacitating sadness that go one for more than a few months should be considered normal, but may be a sign that you need help completing a cycle of grief or need someone to help you let go of your guilt. This is especially true if there are still children in the home. Getting help doesn’t mean that you have failed or that you have done something wrong in the process of grieving. It means that you just may need someone to shed a new perspective on things, offer you a new way of looking at things, to help you over the edge.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of a spouse, with the exception of behaviors which injure other people. There are books, movies, self help programs, and articles galore that are aimed at helping people feel better after such a devastating loss. While the ultimate goal is definitely to feel better, the positive feelings that you are seeking will be much more genuine and lasting if you work through the uncomfortable negative feelings first. Be tender and gentle with yourself, the way you would be if your best friends was in your shoes. Be kind and understanding with yourself. And most importantly, be real with yourself. Staying honest with yourself will help you heal faster and more completely.

Water Resolution, a process that accelerates the natural decomposition process through water, heat and alkaline hydrolysis, is transforming the disposition options available to families through funeral homes and crematoria. A choice superior to fire-based cremation and ground burial for today’s environmentally responsible family, Water Resolution produces a natural, contaminant-free byproduct and a pure ash.
http://waterresolution.com/site/

Promession
“Promession” is a new alternative to cremation and uses a special freeze-drying technique to reduce the body to a power substance.
Promession advocates say it is one of the most environmentally-friendly means of disposition. Developed in Sweden by Susanne Wiigh-Mäsak, Promession (a variation of the Italian word for “promise”) is a relatively simple process that breaks down human remains into a fine powder, with no release of toxins into the air or high energy use as usually happens with cremation.
Within a week and a half after death, the body is submerged in liquid nitrogen which removes the water (70% of the body) and causes the body to become brittle. It is then exposed to vibrations that reduce the remains into a fine, organic powder weighing about 30% of the original mass. The powder is dried and any metals present can be removed for recycling. Remains can be stored indefinitely if contained in a vacuum-sealed container (exposure to moisture will allow for natural decomposition), or one can opt for a “green” eco-friendly burial.
Currently promession is not available in the United States

Two rather new alternatives to traditional burial and cremation.
Currently neither of these processes are available in this area, but they will be at some point in the near future. Please share your thoughts about either process.

” For nourishment, comfort, exhilaration, and refreshment, no wine can rival the love of Jesus. Drink deeply.”

Charles H. Spurgeon

“Your are valuable just because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are. Just think about the way Jesus honors you…… and smile.”

Max Lucado

Dr. Pausch began his last lecture by cutting to the chase:

So, you know, in case there’s anybody who wandered in and doesn’t know the back story, my dad always taught me that when there’s an elephant in the room, introduce them. If you look at my CAT scans, there are approximately 10 tumors in my liver, and the doctors told me 3–6 months of good health left. That was a month ago, so you can do the math. I have some of the best doctors in the world. … So that is what it is. We can’t change it, and we just have to decide how we’re going to respond to that. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. If I don’t seem as depressed or morose as I should be, sorry to disappoint you. And I assure you I am not in denial. It’s not like I’m not aware of what’s going on. My family, my three kids, my wife, we just decamped. We bought a lovely house in Virginia, and we’re doing that because that’s a better place for the family to be, down the road. And the other thing is I am in phenomenally good health right now. I mean it’s the greatest thing of cognitive dissonance you will ever see is the fact that I am in really good shape. In fact, I am in better shape than most of you. [At this point in the lecture, he gets on the ground and executes some one-handed pushups.] So anybody who wants to cry or pity me can come down and do a few of those, and then you may pity me.

Dr. Pausch goes on to recount his childhood dreams—being in zero gravity, playing in the National Football League, being an author in the World Book Encyclopedia, being Captain Kirk, working for Disney—and what it takes to achieve them:
… remember, the brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. … [H]ave something to bring to the table, … because that will make you more welcome.

And he discloses some valuable lessons learned along the way:
I did not make it to the National Football League, but I probably got more from that dream and not accomplishing it than I got from any of the ones that I did accomplish. … when you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a very bad place to be. Your critics are your ones telling you they still love you and care. … And the other thing about football is we send our kids out to play football or soccer or swimming or whatever it is, and it’s the first example of what I’m going to call a head fake, or indirect learning. We actually don’t want our kids to learn football. … we send our kids out to learn much more important things. Teamwork, sportsmanship, perseverance, et cetera, et cetera.

Dr. Pausch’s legacy is built on what he calls the “head fake” or indirect learning.
So Alice is a project that we worked on for a long, long time. It’s a novel way to teach computer programming. Kids make movies and games. The head fake, again, we’re back to the head fakes. The best way to teach somebody something is to have them think they’re learning something else. … the head fake here is that they’re learning to program but they just think they’re making movies and video games. This thing has already been downloaded well over a million times. … And it’s not the good stuff yet. The good stuff is coming in the next version. I, like Moses, get to see the promised land, but I won’t get to set foot in it. And that’s OK, because I can see it. And the vision is clear. Millions of kids having fun while learning something hard. That’s pretty cool. I can deal with that as a legacy.

He hasn’t forgotten the instrumental people along the way and, among many others, credits his parents with helping him achieve his dreams and keeping him grounded.
When I was here studying to get my Ph.D. and I was taking something called the theory qualifier, which I can definitively say is the second worst thing in my life after chemotherapy. And I was complaining to my mother about how hard this test was and how awful it was, and she just leaned over and she patted me on the arm and she said, “we know how you feel honey, and remember when your father was your age he was fighting the Germans.” After I got my Ph.D., my mother took great relish in introducing me as, “this is my son, he’s a doctor but not the kind that helps people.”

But he has never forgotten that it is all about having fun.
[Carnegie Mellon University] President Cohen, when I told him I was going to do this talk, said, “please tell them about having fun, because that’s what I remember you for.” And I said, “I can do that, but it’s kind of like a fish talking about the importance of water.” I mean I don’t know how to not have fun. I’m dying and I’m having fun. And I’m going to keep having fun every day I have left. Because there’s no other way to play it.
So my next piece of advice is, you just have to decide if you’re a Tigger or an Eeyore. I think I’m clear where I stand on the great Tigger/Eeyore debate. Never lose the childlike wonder. It’s just too important. It’s what drives us.

Dr. Pausch concluded his lecture with words of wisdom from his lessons learned, summarized as follows:
Loyalty is a two-way street.

Never give up.

You get people to help you by telling the truth. Being earnest. I’ll take an earnest person over a hip person every day, because hip is short term. Earnest is long term.

Apologize when you screw up and focus on other people, not on yourself.

Get a feedback loop and listen to it. … Anybody can get chewed out. It’s the rare person who says, oh my god, you were right. … When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it.

Show gratitude.

Don’t complain. Just work harder.

Be good at something, it makes you valuable.

Work hard.

Find the best in everybody. … No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side; just keep waiting, it will come out.

And be prepared. Luck is truly where preparation meets opportunity.

The final “head fake” of Dr. Pausch’s last lecture was that none of this was meant for the audience, but for his children. And that may be his true legacy.

To read the complete transcript of Randy Pausch’s last lecture or to view the lecture online, visit http://www.randypausch.com.